The Monogrammed Yankee

The Monogrammed Yankee is what I have lovingly become in the last decade of decadent southern living. I started out my very unique life as an Air Force Brat born in Rural Eastern North Carolina. I would for the next 25 years denying that fact and instead embrace the culture where ever I lived. I believe that is an Air Force kid quality. I really don't have roots anywhere.

When I was three months old my parents were shipped to Guam the beautiful 20 Mile wide and long island in the Pacific. I didn't own shoes (Flip Flops and Sandals) until we moved stateside. I had several exotic pets that I did not choose (Gecko's who lived in my room and kept bugs at bay). A saltwater tank my parents were awesome enough to maintain even had a baby octopus my dad caught while scuba diving, he was an escape artist my first of many escapee pets. My job was to scream he's escaping when I noticed him try to leave. We eventually threw him back in the ocean. 

Me and my dad Easter 1983. My first memories were from Guam, beaches, waterfalls, hiking. It was very idealistic. We came stateside in 1985 and landed in Montana. I was excited my parents had filled my head with cowboys, Yellowstone National Park, Wildlife, and Big Sky Country. It did not meet my expectations when we landed and there was sand everywhere...Wait what? I thought it was a huge beach and my parents laughed and informed me that it was snow. I was not accustomed to temperatures below 75 Degrees. I immediately owned my first boots, hat, jacket, gloves. I found my very first HATE in life. SNOW! I have tried many times to love and embrace this occurrence but the few years we lived in Montana have forever ruined me on the white stuff. 

Montana was not all bad as you can see I learned that the Summer Season was amazing beyond all expectations. It wasn't too hot, nor too cold. We could hike, bike, and canoe it forged my love of all things rustic, western, and outdoors. I have camping, and hiking in my blood for sure. Of course, summer was never long enough in Montana since it really is only comprised of late June/early July through early to mid-August. The rest is cold. I spent many hours building forts over the heater.

So Long Far Well Auf Wiedersehen Goodbye! Montana Hello NOVA (Northern Virginia).

Are we in France? No just Kings Dominion, Richmond, VA circa Summer 1987. We drove across the country to relocated for my Father's new post at the Pentagon in 1987. Before he and my mom could report to duty, find housing, and figure out schools I was plopped back in good old North Carolina with my Aunt, and Cousin. This was very traumatic. The real reason I say it was traumatic was previously I had 2 babysitters in my entire life, both of which were neighbors and my parents never left me for more than 3 hours at a time. I was suddenly left with essentially strangers for 6 long weeks. I took to watching Wizard of OZ once reunited with my parents and calling my Aunt Almira Gulch. Which my mom would laugh and say "don't let her hear you say that". As an adult, I can not fathom the culture shock my parents encountered my dad was raised in Rural Mid America and despite nearly 15 years in the Air Force he literally was sheltered. He had been lucky enough to land jobs in virtually crime-free countries and states. North Dakota, Rural Germany, Rural North Carolina, Guam, Montana...You get the picture then suddenly Washington, D.C. the base was located in South East D.C. district known as Anacostia. At the time it was the scariest place in the area. New projects had been placed adjacent to the Air Base, and it was known as the Murder Capital of the World. There was a "Crack Epidemic" right outside the door of Bolling AFB. My parents were scared to death. Eventually, we would settle in and learn the ropes, in fact, I am very street savvy but, as I was later told my mom spent the first 6 weeks in a ball crying. It did not help when she visited my assigned public school. I won't name names just saying the Principal told my mother flat out "Don't send your child here nothing good is happening here." I believe moral was low as a child had recently been stabbed in the parking lot. My mother decided then and there come hell or high water we were not living on Bolling AFB. The other local base was in Maryland and was beautiful, had great schools. There was a 2+ year waiting list for housing. YIKES. 

My dad found out that since he was working at the Pentagon the best place to live with a great commute was Northern Virginia. My mother had lived in Hampton, and Suffolk (South East Virginia) as a kid (AF Brat too) and the word Virginia gave her hope. She found a livable 2 bedroom apartment in Alexandria in a great school district. I loved the area, we had awesome neighbors, and I loved my school. My favorite neighbor Harry was a teenager, who painted his room hot pink, loved Wham, and the Go Go's. We swapped records (I was an avid collector). Years later it finally dawned on me OH WHAM! He had a flair for design and I thought he was the coolest. Upstairs were two Deaf Architects that had Frankie a preschooler. My mom learned to communicate with his mom and she even ended up babysitting me from time to time. I picked up a few cool signs and the love of Yoohoo Chocolate Drink which I had never seen. The time flew and finally we had an in at the suburban Military base in Maryland. We moved (I was a bit sad). I had a new school, new house, new friends. It was great. There was a pool nearby where we spent all summer. 

Maryland is home? HMM weird. We lived on the base for a long time to see if we would get orders anywhere. It became apparent my father loved DC, and my mom loved Maryland so it was the best of both worlds. They finally bought a house in 1993 and we moved off base. We had a private pool, and it was so big compared to base housing. I made lots of friends and it was in the same school district I had always attended. Many neighbors attended school with me. Middle and High School were rough but, I made it. I even felt like a Marylander, and Washingtonian. I could navigate the Metro with friends by age 12, knew the culture, and despite most southerners lumping Maryland in with them because of where the Mason Dixon line is we are not SOUTHERN. I may have thought we were for a time but, we didn't really have anything in common with them. 

The exchange...During my H.S. Years we hosted a few Foreign Exchange students. I know now my mom must be insane have one rebellious teenager, borrow one from abroad watch chaos ensue. Our first was Maggie (not her actual name but, the one we could pronounce.) Came to live with us she had written beautiful English despite being from Norway. She arrived and was not so fluent but, she acclimated very quickly and was so awesome to hang with. She challenged what I thought about government, sports, and the world really. She was the very first person that I knew that found beauty in literally everything, and everyone. She was also a bit wild and didn't give a care about what anyone thought. I of course immediately adopted her as my sister and we even fought like sisters. 

After her stay I was so depressed I cried for weeks. Finally my mom called Maryanne her mom and said "Can I send you J she is beside herself without Maggie." Luckily her mom had 4 Kids (3 Boys) and was excited to host an American. I pray that I was a good house guest despite my age and American ways. I loved the whole clan and of course didn't want to leave. We toured Norway and I was able to be extremely independent. I was always Ms. Independent but, being in the D.C. area I had curfew and rules. In Norway at the time I lived in a very rural area on the west coast and it was very safe compared to America. We did not have any rules other than be home for Dinner and don't be late for School, Work, etc. I believe that is the same philosophy teenagers need. As they flee from home for College and need to be independent and not be shocked by the sudden independence. Norway had a great influence on me I was never culture shocked except for food. I was a picky eater during that time of my life. I have since moved on, and love all food. I still blame my IKEA Obsession with their home. I have duplicated some of the style into my life. 

Maggie and me Glacier Hiking

Maggie and I modeling our new Norwegian Sweaters

My Norwegian Family! It's hard to believe we are all grown up and have kids now. 

We hosted a Swedish student next but, when she started spouting communist manifestos my dad asked for her to be re-homed. Then we hosted a girl from France. I liked her but, my mom and her fought so much she asked to be re-homed with some good friends of mine. It caused a bit of a rift between my friendships (ultimately they realized she had issues)...I believe their home was a much better fit since they spoke French. Then came Hanne. Hanne is definitely one of the members of my family. That is her leaving after a year in which we got illegal tattoo's and pulled many shenanigans. She visited a lot, and even lived nearby me in the SOUTH! She is now a respectable Lawyer and lives with her Southern American Husband and two children in Asia. More on that later....

Hanne Leaving only to come back all the time :)

YANKEE MOVES SOUTH

There are large gaps here but, really nothing interesting happened. I was in College at University of Maryland, Married and Divorced, Had two dogs, and bought three houses. It feels like someone else's life. 

North Carolina was calling my mom and dad after dad retired. Mom kept saying she wanted to move home? This is a foreign concept as she only lives in North Carolina for 5 years in her twenties. It was however where her Mom and Stepdad retired, ultimately bringing her and her 5 siblings to call this home. My Grandmother had passed away while we were in Guam, I barely knew my Step Grandfather. My mom fought with 2:5 Siblings via the phone. And her other two siblings she loved, but I had met once a year like clockwork. And the once a year was them escaping North Carolina to take in some art in D.C.; Plays, Concerts, Museums etc. I always though North Carolina (Ok the whole south minus Florida...or New York Part Duex) was boring, uncultured, and behind in the times.

Geez I guess I really hated the South. My parents were moving and I wanted a new adventure, I decided why not? I had family there I am sure it will be great. The first 5 were terrible. I moved to the South rarely saw my family, found jobs that I loathed, made no Southern friends, and drove back to Maryland every weekend to party with my besties. I was so certain I had made a huge mistake but, then I decided it was time to date. I always have a trouble with southern men are they SOUTHERN or GAY? Many of my southern Gay Boy Friends suffer from the same condition. I still meet friends uber southern husbands and wonder about their orientation. Let me explain...There are many types of southern men. The Camo Gun loving good old boys (Straight); Church going, bible meeting, clean cut momma's boys (Can go either way but, typically straight); really really good looking manicure getting, Belk's pastel plaid wearing, golfers (mostly straight). See it is confusing right? Everything I ever learned about boys, and men up North doesn't apply in the south. In fact I have met many out and proud gay boys who are SOUTHERN but, they aren't any of the above. I digress that can be a whole post.

I started dating around, some transplants, some foreigners, and some southerners. I was clueless as to what I was looking for, and was still despite 5+ years in the south a YANKEE. That means unless I want to meet, date, and marry a Yankee I was going to have to love or at least learn to like Southern Culture. I started hiking, swimming in lakes, hanging with my one tried and true Southern Friend from Alabama (she is a wild and crazy girl despite being a mom of 3). Learning what country is and isn't and learning you can in fact MONOGRAM anything!! Which is so very southern.

I met and married a good ole southern boy, whom found Jesus with me (that is pretty southern in and of itself), and we made the most incredible little southern BELLE named AnnaBelle Grace of course.

I am still learning what it means to be southern, what southern style is, how to have a beautiful home, and balance family life. Living in a small suburban North Carolina town. I couldn't be any happier and yet more overwhelmed some days. Follow along as I renovate my first family home, decode great style and stumble in between...BTW from my NC friend never ever say "Bless her heart or Bless your heart" it is the biggest insult! After 5 Months of me using it she had to tell me to stop! OOPS.

Welcome to the Monogrammed Yankee.

-Love J your humble southern tour guide.